Hallowed Mama Doula

Melissa

Sleep Little Baby

Babies are great sleepers! …when they want to be. In the womb, babies are used to being lulled to sleep during the day with mother’s movements, talk, digestive sounds, etc. and usually become active when she settles down for the night to sleep. The first months after birth are usually no different. Babies are used to being held, rocked, shushed, and bounced to sleep and when they realize those comforts are no longer happening, they struggle to self-soothe and awaken. Time to sleep, little baby!

One of the most challenging aspects of becoming a new parent is sleep deprivation. Learning to accommodate baby’s needs and still trying to get in the much needed shut eye you require seems like a full-time job in the beginning. While it feels like a long season in the moment, it is temporary. I promise!

sleeping baby lying on a white blanket with arms above head.

Baby Sleep

Even though it can feel like babies are awake all night long, newborns usually average about 8 hours of sleep during the day and 8 more hours at night. So, if they’re sleeping roughly 16 hours in a 24-hour period, why does it seem like they’re always awake?

Babies’ sleep cycles are usually about 45 minutes long. In that time, they move through light sleep, REM, deep sleep and back to light sleep. At the end of the cycle, they tend to wake up and just don’t have the skills to soothe themselves back to sleep. Couple that with tiny tummies that need feeding every few hours and you’ve got yourself a full-time job getting that little sweetheart fed and back to sleep. These irregular sleep patterns are normal for the first few months and will balance out as they develop their circadian rhythm.

How to Get Baby to Sleep

While I don’t suggest trying to create a rigid sleep schedule with a newborn, it can be helpful to try to start establishing a bedtime routine with your baby. Pick a time each night and gradually start implementing a few things to prepare you and baby for sleep.

  • Give baby a bath (you can take baby into the bath with you, Mom);
  • Moisturize baby and put on jammies;
  • Offer baby a final evening feeding and burp well;
  • Change baby’s diaper;
  • Swaddle baby and turn on a white noise machine;
  • Rock, bounce, comfort nurse, and/or walk baby until sleepy; and
  • Once baby is asleep or very close to it, lay in bassinet/co-sleeper, etc.

Sounds good in theory, I know. It can take several weeks to get into a bedtime routine. Baby massage, reading books, singing, prayer and many other personalized things can be added to suit your family. Tweek things as you go and remember that this all takes time. You might find it’s easier to just go with the flow and not worry about bedtimes at all.

Husband Tip!

My husband’s favorite trick to get baby to sleep is to swaddle the baby well, hold upright against his chest and bounce on an exercise ball while humming loudly. Works like a charm!

Sleep Regression

There will be many periods in the infant stage where it seems the sleeping woes have long passed and then they rear their ugly heads again. Babies experience intense growth and developmental changes through the first year and it often impacts sleep. It could be that baby now needs more food to keep them satiated longer, they could be experiencing teething pain, an illness could impact sleep, or they just learn that they prefer the comfort of being soothed to help them drift back to sleep. Generally, babies develop a more balanced sleep schedule with longer overnight stretches between 4-6 months.

Returning Baby to Sleep in the Middle of the Night – Tips from Mom Friend Pros!

  • Keep the lights very low when baby wakes up.
  • If breastfeeding, learn to nurse laying down so you can both fall back to sleep.
  • Keep them warm – no need to change diapers every feeding.
  • If they’ve just finished their first sleep cycle, try to sooth (shushing, patting, rocking) without picking up to see if it will be sufficient to get them back to sleep.

To Sleep Train or To Not Sleep Train

This is a personal preference each family needs to make. Illness, postpartum depression, returning to work, subsequent pregnancies, and safety of the baby are just a few reasons parents consider a formal sleep training method. There are many methods of formal sleep training with varied degrees of difficultly and commitment. Some babies transition well through sleep training and others will make their disapproval known! These methods, while they might not all be conducive for your family, offer interesting tips on how to help older babies self soothe and anticipate sleeping on their own.

  • Ferber Method
  • Chair Method
  • Fading Method
  • Pick-Up / Put-Down Method
  • Respectful Sleep Method
  • Cry-It-Out Method

Outside Sleep Solutions

It’s okay to reach out for help and suggestions! You don’t have to struggle through these first months alone. There are many professionals available to help transition your baby’s sleep with you, if it seems overwhelming on your own.

Postpartum Doulas

As a postpartum doula, I am happy to work with new parents on establishing skills to best serve their family. With new parents, in particular, sometimes it just takes another set of hands to help get everyone ready for bed. Reach out to me if I can help you get your sweet babe sleeping well.

Baby Night Nurses

While night nurses don’t specifically aim to establish sleep routines for a family, they are incredibly helpful with buying parents a few hours of sleep! They stay at your house overnight and respond to a waking baby, bottle feed them, change the baby and get them back to sleep, among other things. It’s not a permanent solution but can make for a few restful nights of sleep to help moms and dads bounce back!

Sleep Consultants

Sleep consultants are nothing short of miracle workers! They assess your current situation and help craft a sleep solution plan specific to you, your spouse, and your baby’s needs. Many will work with you in person and also offer virtual appointments.

father and mother asleep on a couch together with baby asleep on father's chest

Care Team – How to Help

There’s a new baby in your future! Congratulations!! If you find yourself wanting to help, but don’t know exactly how to help, you’re in the right place. First of all, well done for wanting to offer care in this amazing time. Moms, dads, and siblings all need support and love when families welcome aboard a new member. What a blessing you are!

mom lying in bed with eyes closed holding newborn baby on her chest.

Reflecting as a mama of four, there are many things I recognize now that I could have done differently as a new mother to make life a whole lot easier for myself. I wish I would have let the wonderful people in my life help me when they offered to. Nobody expected me to entertain them, but I felt like I needed to do that when they were visiting. It would have been healthier for me to stay in bed for several days after giving birth and let go of expectations for myself. Leaning deeper into my recovery and bonding with my babies would have greatly improved my mental health journey. We all experience postpartum healing differently, but some things ring true for most of us… we are supremely sleep deprived, our bodies are sore, and we question if we’re doing things ‘right’ for our babies.

American culture does not embrace a season of postpartum healing. After giving birth there’s a strong nudge to get right back to life as if you didn’t just birth a human. The body is not ready for that, and the mind REALLY isn’t ready for that. The United States is one of the most medically advanced countries in the world with the highest incidence of maternal deaths. That often comes down to a lack of postpartum healing and bonding. Women are designed to heal and bond with our babies. If that process is strained, rushed or medically complicated it can cause significantly damaging effects. Postpartum depression and anxiety, hemorrhaging, maternal psychosis and even suicide. I realize I’m focusing on the worst-case scenarios here, but they are becoming greater realities for American mothers.

So, how do we help our mothers? As a postpartum doula, I aim to ‘mother the mother.’ It’s a support role. I simply offer encouragement and resources and try to lighten the load where I can. It’s all about mom first, then baby, then the family. It looks differently depending on the family dynamics, but you don’t have to be a doula to help. Let’s talk about some practical tips on how to help whether you’re in their home or offering care from afar.

Woman in an apron helping a young girl whisk ingredients in a bowl.

Help at Home

Being physically available to help new moms and dads at home is a true gift of self, straight from the heart. You are about to enter a raw, intimate, emotional, tired, overwhelmed, and uncertain home…in its most pure and beautiful state! Blessings abound! Before we get into specifics on how to help, I want to offer you my most important tip…

Focus your help on making mom’s recovery easier, not on meeting baby.

Everything in us tells us to scoop that baby right up, but it is just not the time. In fact, expect to go help for the entire day and never hold the baby once. I know, believe me, I want to hold the babies too! But if you and I are holding the baby, that means mom isn’t and she is not fully healing or bonding with the baby in that moment.

“Involution”

Involution is the contracting down of the uterus (post birth) and is necessary to help prevent hemorrhage and return the uterus to a non-pregnant state. When a mother touches/smells/kisses her baby, she produces oxytocin, a hormone that encourages involution and breast milk production. Similarly, an oxytocin rush will help calm her nerves and emotionally connect her to her baby. It is vital for a mother to be able to hold her baby, as often as possible.

Of course, if she asks you to hold the baby while she bathes, eats, sleeps, etc., by all means, soak up the newborn snuggles! Otherwise, it’s best to let baby stay with mom. If you are honored with holding that brand new bundle of joy, offer baby back to mom when she appears to be done with what she was doing. It might be uncomfortable for her to have to ask to have her baby back.

Secondarily, I try to refrain from telling mom and dad how to care for their baby. There are exceptions, but it’s best to let them figure out what works for their family unless advice is specifically solicited.

So, what exactly can I do?

When planning with expectant parents, I suggest they come up with a care team to-do list prior to baby’s arrival. A simple list of tasks posted for visitors. Then, the care team can complete the items they feel comfortable doing when they come to visit. In the midst of becoming parents in wildly sleep deprived conditions, it can be hard to know how to accept help in the moment. If you anticipate being able to help when baby arrives, maybe suggest to mom and/or dad ahead of time that they come up with a list of ways you can serve them best when the time comes. My suggestions:

  • Household Tasks (washing dishes, vacuuming, dusting, taking out the trash, wiping down bathrooms)
  • Laundry (changing bedding, cloth diaper care, folding clothes, picking up dry cleaning)
  • Pets (walking dogs, cleaning the cat litter box, grooming, taking to vet appointments)
  • Food Prep (bringing pre-made meals over to be frozen, starting dinner, keeping healthy one-handed snacks and drinks ready for mom, entering or picking up a grocery order).
  • Siblings (read books, walk to the park, offer to take for a sleepover, help with homework)

Encouragement! This might be the most important thing you can offer. Hug that new mama, tell dad he’s doing an amazing job, rave about how proud you are of them, “ooh and ahh” over how beautiful baby is, and let them know how blessed you feel to get to be a part of it all. You can leave quick notes on the bathroom mirror or on prepared meals in the refrigerator to remind them that they are doing an amazing job! Your presence is significant, and your encouragement hits straight to the hearts of new parents.

A stack of folded baby clothes with a baby rattle and giraffe toy nearby showing how to help a new mom.

Help from afar

You wonderful person, You! It can be hard to know how to support new parents when you aren’t physically in their daily lives, but you can do so much still! Your love and willingness to help is deeply felt.

  • Reach out. Call, text, video chat! If they can’t answer, they won’t. Knowing that you’re thinking of them and helping them feel connected to their life goes a long way toward feeling supported.
  • Set up meals. It’s so easy and assures they’re getting healthy consistent meals. Check out Meal Train if they have family, friends, work, or community available to drop meals by. If they are new to their area, maybe consider subscribing them to a meal delivery service like Home Chef or Hello Fresh.
  • Gift postpartum doula care. If you know your loved ones don’t have community available to help, doula care comes in all shapes and sizes. You can view my available options through Hallowed Mama Doula. There are also some really great national doula directories that will help connect you with doula care in other areas, such as Made For This Birth!
  • Hire out: dog walking, house cleaning, grocery delivery services.
  • Mass Intentions. Most Catholic churches offer the opportunity to have a Mass offered for the intentions of loved ones.
  • Creative Gifts. If you know mom wants to assemble a baby care caddy before baby arrives, offer to make that your baby shower gift. Select items from her registry and build a comprehensive basket of goodies that she doesn’t have to worry about putting together herself. Alternatively, you could also create a snack caddy or postpartum care caddy.
  • Surprise delivery. You name it, surprises are a really special touch for new parents. UberEATS them their favorite lattes, boba or an edible bouquet.
Small white and beige baby items lined up in a row (including socks, rattle, brush, headbands and pacifier).

There are so many beautiful ways to express your excitement and love during this season. Depending on the circumstances, caregiving might be more important during a woman’s pregnancy or a few months into her postpartum. It’s wonderful when everyone floods you with new baby cheer, but spreading out your help can be more advantageous at times.

Hot Carob “Cocoa”

This creamy, cozy, concoction in a mug is a delicious treat for a postpartum mama! Giving credit where credit is due, this a spinoff of Shell Luttrell’s postpartum ceremonial hot chocolate. This hot carob “cocoa” is a great alternative to traditional caffeinated coffee or hot cocoa and still hits the spot if you’re craving something decadent. Drink up, you amazing postpartum mama!

a white table with a heart cookie cutter sitting in a pile of carob powder for hot carob "cocoa"

What is Carob?

Interestingly, carob is actually a legume! It grows in a pod (like a bean) and the pulp on the inside is dried and ground down into a powder. It’s naturally sweet and high in fiber. It is an easy substitute for cocoa or cacao, but it’s naturally caffeine and theobromine free.

Theobromine is a natural chemical component in cocoa which gives it (and chocolate) that bitter tinge. It can cause stomachaches in some people. This makes carob a great alternative ingredient and a friendly postpartum and breastfeeding choice.

You can buy carob powder from health food stores and online. It’s becoming more readily available in traditional grocery stores also. It’s quickly gaining popularity as a good source of fiber and substitute for caffeinated alternatives. Pick up some on your next splurge so hot carob “cocoa” can be on your menu!

HOT CAROB “COCOA”

Enjoy this decadent spin on traditional hot cocoa! Naturally sweetened and caffeine-free.
Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 10 minutes
Course Drinks
Servings 2

Ingredients
  

  • 2 cups coconut milk
  • 3 tbsp carob powder
  • 1 tbsp cornmeal
  • 1 tbsp butter or coconut oil
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp chili powder
  • maple syrup (or other natural sweetener of choice)
  • orange peel (optional)
  • 1 pinch sea salt

Instructions
 

  • Warm the coconut milk in a small pan over medium heat.
  • When steamy, add the remaining ingredients.
  • Stir until the carob and sweetener are dissolved.
  • Remove orange peel.
  • OPTIONAL: Froth or blend to fully mix remaining bits of cornmeal and carob.

Notes

Add a dollop of whipped cream or cinnamon stick for an added kick. Enjoy!

As with all of my recipes, do your best to source organic ingredients first when it’s financially doable for you. I try to offer recipes that are user friendly with few ingredients and instructions. Postpartum women and their caregivers just need things to be quick, easy and nutritious! Please, feel free to sub where it best suits you, accommodating doctor instructions and food allergies/intolerances.

Kitchen Gadgets & Favorite Ingredients

Carob Powder

Coconut Milk

Milk Frother

a wooden table with carob pods and a wooden scoop full of carob powder to make hot carob "cocoa"

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Tomato Sausage Stew

We saw our first snow of the season last week! If you know anything about Colorado, it’s that our seasons (while we get all four) can be temperamental in their transitions. Much like preterm labor, you just aren’t quite sure when the next season is here for real! As I stood in my kitchen observing the dichotomy of fluffy snow rolling in with the last of summer’s beautiful garden tomatoes sitting ripe on the counter, this recipe struck me as a perfect combination of the two. A hearty tomato sausage stew brimming with postpartum goodness!

plate of red, ripe tomatoes piled high

Postpartum Healing from the Inside Out

The postpartum body is a fragile one. While American culture suggests jumping right back into daily life once you’re no longer pregnant, it just is not practical or safe. Women desperately need time to heal during the postpartum season. After giving birth, our bodies go through a period of purging – water, blood, fat, hormones…you name it! It is a necessary transition out of the pregnant state. The gentler we are with our bodies, the easier and faster we heal (physically and mentally).

Many cultures practice strict protocol with food and drink during this time. The idea is to consume only warm foods and beverages, specifically with “warm” properties (EX: cinnamon, pepper, ginger). While I’m not a practicing herbalist, this principle just makes sense. Consuming warm, easily digestible foods are a postpartum mama’s best friend. Increasing warmth in the body is one way to speed up circulation and increasing circulation promotes healthier digestion. Getting things moving efficiently in other systems of the body improves function in the reproductive system too!

Let’s talk organic

pacific foods chicken broth box on stove in front of a dutch oven of tomato sausage stew

I am of the opinion that food today is not as pure and healthy as it used to be. God gave us these beautiful body healing foods and, as people do, we have “fixed” them into being broken. That being said, I also live on a budget. Buying the absolute cleanest of everything isn’t an option for our family. When possible, we aim to grow/harvest our own foods. When we aren’t able to, I work to buy fresh, organic foods. When that’s not possible, I try to buy the least processed options available. Sometimes that means just skipping the grains, dairy, soy or options with preservatives and ingredients I can’t pronounce.

I say this to encourage you! It’s easy feeling defeated when you’re browsing through new recipes, and they have a thousand ingredients or very expensive ingredients. Just do your best! When you can’t purchase organic, try to buy fresh produce. When that’s hard, try to stick with frozen produce over canned. In making postpartum decisions, think – 1) nutrient dense, 2) warm, and 3) easily digestible. And then, pat yourself on the back for making the best choices for your healing within your budget!

If you really want to dig in to “clean” eating, there are many sites available, like EWG, that serve to keep consumers ‘in the know’ about food toxins. Shopping locally, seasonally, and in bulk often helps offset some of the exorbitant costs of buying organic.

Making Tomato Sausage Stew

a close up photo of kielbasa, purple potato, tomato, onion, mushrooms, and spinach

Let’s get your postpartum body healing from the inside out with a tasty tomato sausage stew! I’m going to give you a recipe, but there’s not really a wrong way to make it – just throw your favorite healthy ingredients in it. Also, we are a family of six, so if you don’t plan to freeze it, you can cut ingredient quantities in half, and it would make a solid meal for 2-3 people.

If you prefer a thicker tomatoey bisque (think chili) you can add an 8 oz. can of tomato paste.

Add other proteins to it – cubed chicken, kidney beans, beef tips.

I like this stew over rice because it absorbs all of the delicious broth and creates a pseudo jambalaya. You can easily sub the rice with quinoa, millet, couscous, etc. Or you can just eat it as the stew!

These pictures show purple potatoes. This is the last of what we got out of the garden, so I just decided to throw them in. You can use any kind of potato!

hearty tomato sausage stew

TOMATO SAUSAGE STEW

This savory tomato sausage stew is a postpartum mama's best friend! It's nutrient dense, hearty and freezes easily. Make a double batch and stash some in the freezer for an easy postpartum meal!
Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 30 minutes
Cook Time 1 hour
Total Time 1 hour 30 minutes
Course Soup
Servings 6 people (with leftovers)

Ingredients
  

  • 1 stick butter (I like the richness of butter, but you could substitute a couple of tablespoons of oil)
  • 1 yellow onion
  • 7 medium fresh tomatoes (or 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes)
  • 8 small potatoes
  • 8 oz. baby bella mushrooms
  • 32 oz. broth (I used chicken, but any broth is okay)
  • 3 lbs. kielbasa sausage
  • 1 chunk parmesan cheese rind (extra for grating)
  • 10 oz. spinach (any greens are okay)
  • 2 cups rice (I used jasmine rice, but any rice is okay)

Instructions
 

  • Rough chop each ingredient (no need to peel tomatoes or potatoes)
  • Melt butter over medium heat.
  • Add the onion.
  • Once the onion is translucent, add the tomatoes, potatoes, mushrooms and cook (stirring frequently) for 5 minutes.
  • Add broth, parmesan cheese rind and sausage.
  • Add salt, pepper, garlic powder to taste along with any other preferred herbs.
  • Bring to a simmer and cover.
  • Cook, stirring occasionally for 45 minutes.
  • While the stew is cooking, prepare rice.
  • After the 45 minutes, stir in the spinach and cook gently until wilted.
  • Serve over rice with freshly grated parmesan cheese.

Notes

This recipe is very easy to make substitutions. 
Add in additional proteins – cubed chicken, kidney beans, beef tips.
Serve over quinoa, millet, couscous, etc.
Swap the spinach for kale or Swiss chard.
It freezes very well. Simply defrost, warm, and cook a grain to serve it with (or eat it solo)! 

Kitchen Gadgets & Favorite Ingredients

Cutting Board

Cast Iron Dutch Oven

Chicken Broth

Jasmine Rice

a triple picture of the ingredients for tomato sausage stew - tomato, purple potatoes, kielbasa, and more.

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Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss

It’s been fifteen years since my first miscarriage. Saying it out loud, that loss seems like so long ago and just like yesterday all at once. After nearly two years of infertility, we were beyond excited to be pregnant for the first time. It was our first ultrasound experience, and it was magic seeing and hearing our tiny 8-week-old baby with a thumping heartbeat. We said goodbye a few days later on Christmas Eve.

Our second sweet love entered our lives roughly six months later. Our tiny baby came like the flash of a firefly bringing a renewed spark of hope to our hearts. I miscarried by myself in the middle of the night. I remember being angry that everyone I loved could sleep through one of the most sorrowful moments of my life. And yet, I did not wake up my husband or pick up the phone, because I was simultaneously very grateful to be alone. It was the first time I really let God in. In raw, painful sobs of sorrow and begging. He was with me, I have no doubt, and I am so grateful for the 7 weeks we could call His beloved baby, ours.

Outdoor picture of husband kissing his wife's head while she looks at the camera after miscarriage.

Carrying the Cross of Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss

Part of my heart will always mourn my sweet babies. I did not know anything about them and yet we’re designed to love our babies, protect them, and wonder who they are before this world knows them. The other side of my perspective has evolved into one of gratitude for the woman and mother those babies have helped me become. So many parents carry the cross of miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss. I hold you and your babies in the sacred depth of my heart and the forefront of my prayers.

I wish I would have known then the amazing love and resources that await grieving parents. Outside of pain prescriptions, I did not receive much compassion or any resources from my doctors. We can do better for parents that have lost their tiny loves! And while I have an incredible support system, I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it much with family and friends because I just felt too vulnerable. I am so thankful for my incredible husband who loved me through my grief, and I still feel badly that I don’t remember asking him how he was coping with our losses.

Hope and Healing After Loss

If we are open to it, God can use our tremendous grief to bring about beautiful healing in ourselves and others. These courageous authors and business owners are doing just that! Incredible organizations have bloomed from the mourning of their own babies in effort to provide support to parents in similar situations. They ensure that you do not have to go at this alone. We see you. We feel your pain.

There are some amazing books available to help process the loss of our babies. These are just a few:

A simple picture of a pile of small rocks, on the top rock the word "healing" was written in black marker to signify miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.

Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Resources

If you are anticipating a miscarriage, Humble Mission offers bereavement boxes to help you physically and emotionally handle the process and prepare your baby for burial. They also have great suggestions for what to ask your medical providers. If you have not experienced a miscarriage before, this will likely be very helpful. Held in Hope offers a similar miscarriage kit.

If you’re looking for deeper consolation or one-on-one mentoring, look no further than Eileen Tully, the founder of Sursum Corda. Eileen and her husband have transformed their significant experiences of grief through miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss into remarkably beautiful support and tools for grieving parents. Everything from a blog and podcasts to an on-line retreat that you can complete individually or in a group setting.

Similarly, Red Bird Ministries dedicates their work to help parents heal through grief. Ryan and Kelly Breaux, “by the grace of God,” were able to pull themselves through a decade of grieving their twins. They now dedicate themselves to other parents navigating this heartbreaking journey. You can find beautiful resources through their new app, in many parishes across the country, and in one-on-one mentoring.

Colorado Support during Loss

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a complimentary photography service based out of Colorado, specializing in stillborn and infant loss photos. Sometimes photography seems an odd consideration at this time. However, families who have accepted photography remark how grateful they are to be able to reflect on those sacred moments with their babies.

The Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services of Colorado ministers to families that have lost babies in pregnancy or during birth through their Precious Lives Burial ministry. Complimentary funeral services are offered to all grieving families regardless of religious affiliation.

The Archdiocese of Denver’s ministry, Behold Your Child, offers grief counseling resources, memorial Masses, keepsakes, and contact information for life affirming infertility providers.

Another consideration would be hiring a bereavement doula, or “loss” doula. If we previously arranged for you to have my services after birth, we will reassess. I will work with you to help you receive the best bereavement doula care, even if it’s not mine.

Supporting Your Grieving Loved One

Simply making yourself available to a mother and/or father that’s experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, can be hugely supportive. Thinking of them, praying for them, and acknowledging their baby or child is deeply missed, means so much. If you’re also looking to offer tangible support, maybe consider:

  • Setting up a meal train for a couple of weeks.
  • Offering to take other children or pets for a couple of nights.
  • Performing some household tasks to lighten the load.
  • Gifting them a healing box, miscarriage care package.
  • Subscribing them to a Lily of the Valley prayer care package.
  • Arranging to have Mass offered for them at a local parish.
  • If needed, contact the Trappist Monks of New Melleray Abbey for a beautifully handcrafted complimentary casket.
A faded picture of the sun shining through clouds with an overlaid quote from St. Zelie Martin, "We shall find our little ones again up above." A reflection of miscarried, stillborn, and infant deaths.

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What to Expect during Postpartum Life

You’ve been working diligently to be healthy during pregnancy, you’ve been reading books about breastfeeding, and you’ve attended your childbirth education class. Now you’re learning all there is to know about postpartum recovery. It’s great you’re getting a head start on what to expect during postpartum life. Let’s dig in together! You’ll find links to great books, specific blog topics delving deeper into remedies, recipes, etc., and some of my favorite items to have on hand for postpartum ease.

A trio of healing pictures for postpartum life- a bowl of chicken soup, two clear jars of healing tinctures and a woman sleeping in bed under a blue blanket

Bonding – Postpartum is Not Only about Healing

In the 1970’s the term “bonding” was birthed (definitely pun intended) out of observations between mother/baby interactions.1 While its meaning is still being measured and massaged within the medical community, a pure idea of bonding is simply permitting time and space for a mother and her baby to fall in love with one another.1 How beautiful and unique for every mother and child!

Identifying Mother-Baby Needs

Truly, a woman is designed to be all that her baby needs, for a very long time! Baby needs her warmth (to regulate temperature), baby needs her smell (to identify her), baby needs her breasts (for comfort and muscle development), baby needs her milk (for antibodies and nutrition), baby needs her voice (for brain development), etc. We can draw all kinds of beautiful necessities that baby receives from mother, but what hasn’t been stressed enough is how important baby is for mother! Mother needs baby to nurse (to stimulate milk supply and contract her uterus for healing), she needs to smell, feel and kiss baby (to help increase her oxytocin – get those love hormones flowing), she needs to hear baby’s sounds (to help her learn how and when to provide), etc. And these are just scratching the surface!

postpartum mother holding her baby as she breastfeeds.

It’s truly a miraculous, perfectly designed system of give and take between mother and baby. All of that interaction helps them become healthier, calmer and form that crucial bond. All that said, it does not always “look” the same for every mother and baby. Some mothers coo and gush and cry over the beauty of their baby. Other mothers observe quietly, touching and examining every little part of the miracle just given to her. This extraordinary time is unique and will unfold differently each time. What is important is that mothers are given this uninterrupted time with their babies to nurse, sleep, examine, talk to, smell, hold, kiss, and listen to one another. How do we create this? We offer a safe space, private to the two of them, and we support them in it!

What to know about Postpartum Soreness

Some women really luck out in this area and don’t experience too much discomfort after giving birth. Conversely, some of us experience all of it. Most of us have some kind of perineal discomfort. The perineum is the tissue between the vaginal opening and your anus. It is the area most prone to tearing during birth. Many doctors have retired the practice of performing episiotomies (cutting the perineum to widen the vagina for birth), but if you received one this is the area affected. You might also feel some discomfort around your labia (vaginal “lips”), your anus, or your pubic bone. Swelling, tenderness, stinging and occasional sharp pains are sometimes expressed.

Bring on the relief!

If you choose to not aid the healing process at all, your body will heal from birth – it’s just designed to! There are many ways to bring some relief during that process though. Why not have a few items on hand before going into labor so they’re ready to go when you need them. If you’re looking for a fast solution, you can find soothing perineal products in sprays, balm and witch hazel pads. Look for natural ingredients without added dyes or fragrances.

If you’d rather prep your own items, here’s a great Sitz Bath Herb and Padsicle DIY! You can usually find toilet top sitz baths in local drug stores or something comparable online to use with your herbs. If you choose to make your own herbal blends, look no further than Mountain Rose Herbs for the best selections.

Why Is My Body So Sore?

Additionally, you might experience fatigued muscles as if you put in a solid day at the gym. It might sound funny, but if you were on your back for a long time, in a prolonged squatting position, or bracing yourself with your arms those muscles might be tired. While women are encouraged to try to keep from clenching our muscles during labor, it can be hard to stay fully relaxed in such an intense state. Depending on how long you were in labor, if you were active, you might have gotten in a bunch of steps too! Your whole body has just worked very, very hard and it makes sense to feel the effects of it in many places. Check out bengkung belly binding, a tried-and-true method of providing support to the postpartum core.

A profile picture of a woman laying in a bath tup with her eyes closed.

After Pains?

Let’s talk about after pains. After pains are usually a new sensation for first-time moms and it can be concerning if you aren’t prepared for it. “Involution” is the continued contracting of the uterus. It can be uncomfortable for a few days after birth, but it’s an important part of the process to shrink the uterus back down to size.

You might notice that these after pains are quite intense while breastfeeding – breast stimulation encourages the oxytocin production that is responsible for these contractions. You might also experience this sensation when you hear your baby crying, or any baby crying for that matter! Women often experience more intense after pains with subsequent pregnancies because each pregnancy stretches the uterus a bit more than before. If you’re dealing with a lot of after pain discomfort you can use a mild heating pad or throw together a super simple rice sock to snuggle up with.

There’s never been a better time for a bath!

Okay, so I’m not much of a bath girl. I’d much rather take a fast shower and move on with my day. That goes for most of my postpartum recoveries too! Having said that, the entirety of the body and mind benefit from taking postpartum baths. I did manage to force myself into a few baths after babies and I never regretted it. Truly, if you’re dealing with perineal pain, body aches, after pains, constipation, headaches, bloating, engorged breasts, hemorrhoids, or otherwise, do yourself a favor and take a bath. Baby can join you if you need some encouragement to stay seated in there for a while. Let the water relieve your discomfort, soften muscles, and calm your mind. You can assemble herbal bath packs ahead of time to keep on hand and throw in to steep while you’re filling the tub.

What to expect – Postpartum Bleeding

Lochia is the period of time you experience bleeding after giving birth (generally 2-6 weeks), whether you’ve delivered vaginally or via cesarean. Over the course of your pregnancy, the lining in your uterus (endometrium) builds up a thick, nutrient dense layer of blood to grow and nourish your baby. When you deliver your placenta, it leaves an open wound in that space that bleeds. This is what your body is expelling after birth. The first 2-3 days after birth will be the heaviest flow of blood, similar to heavy bleeding during your period. If you deliver in a hospital, please feel comfortable asking your nurses about your bleeding if you have any questions or if it seems excessive.

Fundal “Massage”

Shortly after delivering your placenta, your OB or midwife will perform fundal massage – the fundus is the top of your uterus. It’s a little unfair to call it “massage” because it can be pretty uncomfortable, but most medical practitioners agree that it’s necessary to help hasten healing and avoid hemorrhage. This massage encourages your uterus to start contracting down in size. Your OB or midwife will assess the fundus (generally a couple of inches below the belly button at this stage) to make sure it’s firm. If it isn’t, they will perform fundal massage to tighten it up. You might feel cramping, a gush of blood or passing of a clot while they are massaging the uterus.

Clotting

You might experience some clotting (sometimes as big as a golf ball). The blood pooling in the uterus will start to clot while you’re lying down or sitting for an extended period of time. Then, when you stand up, the clot passes. You can help decrease your clotting by continuing gentle fundal massage of your uterus before getting up to use the bathroom. You’ll also want to make sure to empty your bladder regularly to prevent putting extra pressure on your uterus.

Quick side note…generally, the more toned your uterus is (and your overall fitness) prior to labor, the shorter duration of bleeding you will experience. Your bleeding might also be a good indicator of whether you’re over-doing it by increased bleeding after activity. You want to avoid a resurgence of bleeding as postpartum hemorrhaging is possible for several weeks after giving birth.

  • gentle massage of the top of uterus (fundus) prior to using the bathroom
  • avoid strenuous physical activity for the first 30 days after birth (including vacuuming, exercising, heavy lifting, shopping, etc.)
  • avoid tampon and menstrual cup use
  • change disposable pads regularly (reusable cloth pads not recommended for postpartum bleeding)
  • drink lots of water
  • eat iron rich foods (red meats, kidney beans, dark leafy vegetables, and dried fruits)
  • consider taking placenta pills

Sluggish Digestion is part of postpartum life

Your body just worked very hard at birthing that beautiful baby and some of your other systems of the body might seem a little out of whack. Your digestive system is one of those! Digestion tends to become very sluggish after giving birth. In fact, you might become constipated and/or not have a bowel movement for 2-3 days. On the other hand, some women have that initial surge of hormones and experience diarrhea. Your system will right itself, but there are a few things we can do to help it along.

If you delivered in a hospital, there’s a good chance you’ve been prescribed over the counter stool softeners to help make your first bowel movement after baby a bit more comfortable. While I prefer recommending food and drink to help regulate bowel movements, sometimes we just need a little extra help. In lieu of pill stool softeners, my favorite digestive aid is Natural Vitality Calm. It’s a magnesium supplement drink that you can take warm or cold – nonGMO, vegan and gluten free. It’s also safe during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. Win, win, win!

a duo of nutritious food for a healing postpartum life - a pitcher of lemon gingerade with fresh lemons, ginger and honey next to it. Second, a bowl of oatmeal topped with blueberries and shaved almonds.

Hemorrhoids…ugh!

If everything above isn’t already enough, some of us extra lucky ladies also develop hemorrhoids during labor/birth. You’re extra prone to these if you had them during pregnancy or if you had to push for a long-time during labor. Some suggestions are:

  • Warmth! Keeping warm helps speed circulation and in turn, digestion. At a minimum, keep your core warm (wear multiple layers of clothing, belly bind, keep a rice sock on hand, etc.)
  • Focus on eating small, easily digestible, warm meals of green leafy vegetables and high-fiber foods like oatmeal, soups, stews and this delicious postpartum porridge.
  • Water is your best postpartum friend. If you drink a cup of warm water prior to eating a meal it can help your digestion release. If you’re dealing with constipation or hemorrhoids, you need extra.
  • Tea for two!
    • Chamomile tea is a new mama’s calming friend! It has relaxing properties for muscles and the mind. It is safe for baby to receive through breast milk and can help milk come in.
    • Save your caffeinated teas for down the road, or down below! For hemorrhoids, steep a caffeinated tea bag, gently wring it out and apply the tea bag directly to the hemorrhoid. When done, make sure you gently pat yourself dry (no rubbing).
  • Avoid straining during bowel movements or long periods of bearing down.
  • You can also sit on a cushion or donut to avoid adding extra pressure to your already tender bottom.

Breast Milk Production

You might have noticed during pregnancy that your breasts were already starting to produce a thick golden milk, colostrum. For the first couple of days after giving birth, your body will increase colostrum production. This is the only thing baby needs to consume these first days. It is wildly rich in nutrients and antibodies and sets the stage for a healthy gut biome for your baby. You will be breastfeeding frequently in the first weeks as the size of baby’s tummy is only about the tip of your thumb. That beautiful colostrum burns clean and quickly for baby. Generally, anywhere from 2-5 days after birth, your milk production will change in composition, color, and quantity. It’s much thinner than your colostrum and generally more bluish white in color. Additionally, it contains a higher amount of sugars so if you taste it, it will be sweet!

Your body is working hard yet again to bring in your milk and you might notice some physical changes. Sometimes women run low fevers, have hot flashes (full body or just in your breasts), fluctuating emotions, sore breasts and engorgement. When I say engorgement, some women will easily go up 3-4 bra sizes while nursing. Read more about breastfeeding here!

Emotional Fluctuations

A postpartum mother wearing a white sweater holding her baby over her shoulder who's wearing a green long-sleeved onesie.

What a crazy ride! Am I right? Pregnancy was a good introduction to the wild swing in emotions that fluctuating hormones can create. I hate to break it to you, but postpartum brings on its own hormone rollercoaster. This hormone shift is the single greatest naturally occurring hormone fluctuation that can occur in humans! It makes sense that it’s going to take some time to adjust.

Hormone Heavy Hitters

There are many hormones at work during postpartum life, but the biggest players are progesterone, estrogen, oxytocin and prolactin. Your progesterone and estrogen levels are extremely high at the end of pregnancy and as soon as you give birth their production reduces significantly, prompting the wild increase of oxytocin and prolactin. Throw in cortisol production, your thyroid hormones, physical recovery, sleep deprivation, and probably a little dehydration and you’re well on your way to feeling somewhat “out of sorts.” While all of this is necessary in facilitating your healing, bonding and breast milk production, it can sure take its toll on a mama.

You might experience fast and frequent swings of overwhelming love (for your baby and partner), joy, euphoria, gratitude, sadness, overwhelm, irritability, impatience, or apathy. It seems bonkers, but you really can experience all of these in a postpartum day and other times just kind of bump back and forth between a couple. These early on hormonal imbalances earned their name, “baby blues,” and are considered normal within the first 2 weeks after giving birth. If you continue to have these extreme fluctuations or a general lack of connection with your baby or loved ones beyond this timeframe it would be good to reach out for professional guidance. There’s no shame in it. There are amazing options available to help moms through this time. Advocating for yourself is taking care of your baby, too!

  • good nutrition (limit caffeine, alcohol, sugars)
  • continue taking prenatal vitamins
  • gentle moving (stretching, casual walk around the block)
  • help from care team
  • increase water intake
  • do something you love to do
  • herbal aids/placenta pills
  • rest and sleep

Read more about postpartum depression and anxiety here.

What to Expect – Other Postpartum Quirks

  • hair loss (typically 3-6 months postpartum)
  • swollen extremities (hands, feet, legs, etc.)
  • hot flashes and/or chills
  • joint pain
  • new food aversions
  • bloating/gas
  • varicose veins.

And still, your beautiful baby is worth all of the challenges postpartum healing brings! You’re fully living that postpartum life, mama. The bittersweetness of it, is that it will be gone in a flash. Allow yourself to be taken care of, rest often, eat well, and lean into every second with that beautiful baby.

You are living a miracle!

a top-down picture of a postpartum mother and her baby sleeping on a bed. mother is holding baby's hand.

1Romm, A. (2002). The First Days after Birth. In Natural Birth after Healing (pp. 85–87). Healing Arts Press.

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Belly Binding

Cultures around the world utilize belly binding as an essential part of postpartum care. Techniques vary, but most involve starting with an application of a warming paste on the abdomen. Then, winding a strip of muslin cotton around the abdomen we form a frontal ‘spine’ with a series of knots. We always start from the pubic bone and work up to the sternum.

A trio of a woman having a traditional bengkung belly binding applied.

A Cultural Caregiving

In Malaysia, traditional belly binding is called bengkung (meaning undergarment or girdle).1 Bengkung belly binding is practiced 12 hours a day during the confinement period (42-44 days). The womb is considered the center of woman’s whole well-being, and she seldom leaves her bed during this time. Mother’s are fed, bathed, warmed, and wrapped by loved ones. It’s all about healing and bonding!

The supportive binding promotes healing and support to the postpartum body. Women often experience swelling, sluggish digestion, temperature swings, hormonal surges, and slow circulation as the body lets go of the last bits of pregnancy. Sometimes a sensation of emptiness in the womb or being off-balance occurs too. The body expels unnecessary water, fat, air, hormones, and blood – all so important to our pregnant body and baby’s development. Another aspect of the postpartum period is that of emotional transition into motherhood. The body has spent its pregnancy filling with life and preparing mom for this new phase. Belly binding offers an emotional sense of closure to her previous self as she embraces her own birth into motherhood.

Full benefits of belly binding

  • Helps regain non-pregnancy form of ribcage, belly, and hips.
  • For mild cases of diastasis recti, it encourages drawing in and support of abdominal muscles.
  • It is holistic in nature, utilizing only herbal methods.
  • Supports the body’s natural spine, core muscles and posture realignment.
  • Prevents slouching while nursing which can cause additional muscle strain.
  • Draws organs toward the core in a supportive, upward lift, taking pressure off the abdominal muscles and pelvic floor.
  • Often reduces postpartum bleeding time by supporting the uterus in a contracted position and overall support to the womb. This support encourages involution (shrinking) of the uterus.
  • Herbs/oils improve circulation and digestion through ‘warming’ properties.
  • The wrap itself increases core warmth promoting better circulation.
  • Provides emotional comfort for postpartum anxiety/depression, birth trauma, and bereavement.
  • Encourages mom to rest as it limits movements such as bending down, twisting, lifting from the floor, etc.

Relaxin is a remarkable hormone that a woman’s body creates when preparing for birth. It allows the bones, organs and ligaments to shift and become flexible for baby’s passage through the birth canal. Relaxin remains in the body during early postpartum months making it an ideal time to belly bind as the hips, organs, ribs, and muscles are malleable for quite some time.

Spices aren’t just for cooking

Traditionally, a warming paste (bentonite clay, cloves, cinnamon, black pepper, ginger, kaffir lime, calendula, and turmeric mixed with a carrier oil) is applied to the abdomen prior to wrapping the belly. Those herbs contain ‘warm’ properties that when applied to the skin mildly increase core warmth. Warming the body increases circulation of blood. In turn, it promotes faster healing and speeds up digestion – both important to postpartum healing. For women that don’t want to use the paste, essential oils can be substituted with carrier oil instead.

A top down picture of a table containing small jars of various herbs and spices.

What does a typical binding session look like?

For American mamas interested in belly binding, a version of the Malay bengkung can be adapted. It isn’t considered ‘traditional’ binding unless utilized to the extent of the Malay confinement period. That said, the benefits are similar if practiced in even a shortened amount of time.

I suggest binding for at least five consecutive days for 12 hours at a time (the more days, the better). I encourage moms to bind late in the evening right before going to go to bed. It is not necessary to bind at night however, it will be snug. For comfort (and to help it stay in place), lying down is optimal. Unless you have full-time care available during the day, it’s easier to get your wrapped hours in at night.

An evening of belly binding

This is just an example of what an evening with belly binding looks like. When I come to wrap you, my time is yours for the evening. Newborn life is unpredictable, and I fully anticipate going with the flow.

  • I arrive at your house at 7:30 P.M.
  • I check in with you to make sure you’ve eaten dinner and see where I’m most needed.
  • I (or your care team) take baby while you bathe and get ready for bed. (If baby is being cared for, I will make you tea, clean up dinner, change bedding, etc).
  • We will talk through your day, giving you time to nurse baby, have a snack, use the bathroom, etc.
  • Once settled, I will apply the warming paste/oils (if you choose) with cover slip and then the wrap.
  • I’ll check in with your care team before leaving or finish up odds and ends, if time permits.

Outside of other activities, it usually takes about 20 minutes to get the full wrap on. Baby can absolutely stay with us and I’m happy to baby wear while wrapping mom if baby needs soothing. This is also a great time for dad to bond with baby – diaper changing, readying for bed, bouncing to sleep, etc.

Mom determines the snugness of the wrap and can easily adjust as we apply it. It should feel like a supportive hug, but never painful. As the evenings go by, most women tend to increase the tightness of the binding. It’s also easy to remove, so when you’re ready to take it off, you can do so independently.

Belly binding limitations

As with many postpartum practices, results of belly binding will vary. Some mamas may not be good candidates for binding. While bengkung belly binding is considered safe, certain health concerns may prevent some from safely binding. Women experiencing extreme diastasis recti (requiring surgery), significant hemorrhoid discomfort, recovering from surgery, significant organ prolapse (uterine, bladder or rectal), or significant incontinence should consult their doctor prior to any binding. Women that have had c-sections are eligible for binding after the 6-week recovery period or once their incision heals.1

I was honored to obtain my Postpartum Belly Binding certification in 2022 based on these traditional Malay bengkung techniques. If you have questions, you can find more information here or reach out to me personally to chat!

An up close picture of the knots of a muslin bengkung belly binding wrap.

1Learn Belly Binding https://www.learnbellybinding.com/

Belly binding images shared with permission from Positive Body Mind and Baby, LLC

Your Labor Mindset Matters

When the time comes, your labor mindset matters. We often spend a lot of time researching pregnancy, but less time is spent on preparing our minds for labor and giving birth. Women were remarkably designed to birth their babies, and for most mamas, our bodies go right ahead and do that without us really needing to mentally participate. Ha! It’s a very compelling experience! And miraculous at that. However, if we spend a little time trying to anticipate the labor and birth, it gives us the opportunity to lean into it with mindfulness and that can completely change our labor experience! When the moment comes, it can help you head into labor with intentionality, fully trusting your body.

Pregnant woman leaning on an exercise ball while crouched on her knees in a bedroom working on her labor mindset.

Do you need a birth plan?

Birth plans have become a widely discussed part of the labor process in the relatively recent past. While I don’t think it’s necessary to have an elaborate birth plan in place, it is a good idea to think through general birth issues specific to the environment you plan to birth in – home, birth center, hospital, or otherwise.

Logistically, there is the space itself, requirements of medical staff, understanding what your insurance includes, visiting hours and the equipment available for you to use. Most birth centers and hospitals offer tours and one-on-one discussions with providers to help answer these questions ahead of time.

Medically, there are considerations to ponder, as well. Jotting down a general idea of your ideal labor and birthing experience is encouraged. I would suggest avoiding too many details as the idea of a birth plan is to make things simplistic and straight forward for you (and your care team) as a reminder of your intentions.

Birth Plan Thoughts

The idea of a birth plan is to return you to the right labor mindset by giving you a reminder of your intentions for birth. Simple is better so it does not become overwhelming during labor. A few basic suggestions to consider and jot down…

  • Pain management (do you want to have an epidural and/or how do you plan to manage discomfort)
  • Movement (do you want to be able to be out of bed)
  • Who will be with you (partner, doula, mother, friend)
  • Baby care (if in a hospital – do you want vaccinations / circumcision / hearing testing, etc.) Baby procedures might start immediately after birth if you are delivering in a hospital – it is okay (and encouraged) to request that they delay those so you can experience the “golden hour” with your baby.
  • Placenta decisions (if you want to keep it you have to say so)

Everything else is extra, in my opinion. What you wear, if you listen to music, using your own pillows, the lighting, the temperature, ice chips vs. apple juice, etc. I’m speaking for the masses here, but those things likely won’t matter much when you’re in active labor. If they do, your care team and medical staff will tend to minor things as they arise.

Husband encourages laboring wife while she sits on an exercise ball having her back massaged by a doula.

If this is your first pregnancy, labor will be eye-opening. It is a natural, primal rite of passage while becoming a mother. When you’re on the other side of it you will have a different perspective of the remarkable woman you are, and your beautiful babe is THE best reward ever!

Memorable Moments of Labor

I want to get a little real with you for a minute. My intention is not to scare or embarrass you, but rather to help take some of the potential shock out of the reality of labor for you. Every labor and delivery are different, but they usually all have their “memorable” moments. Whether you have a vaginal or cesarean delivery, you might…

  • have your water break on its own or medical staff might do it for you in one big gush – it’s always an odd surprise
  • experience intense contractions (tightening of the stomach) that make you want to cry, moan, breathe heavily, or be silent.
  • pee or poop…on the bed, on the floor, on your doctor
  • feel nauseous or throw up
  • fall asleep in between contractions
  • experience “transition tremors” (involuntary shaking)
  • have an orgasm
  • leak colostrum from your breasts
  • feel angry, sad, scared, happy, relieved, or overwhelmed
  • need a little extra oxygen to help you breathe easier
  • make amazing sounds that you’ve never heard yourself make before

If you experience any or all of these, it’s okay! All of this is natural and helping your body to open and soften for baby’s arrival. You never need to apologize. You don’t need to feel badly. I promise, your medical staff has seen it all and are prepared to help you work through these situations if they happen.

There are serene moments of labor, as well. That downtime is a great opportunity to rebalance your mind if you’re feeling anxious, frustrated or tired. Having visual reminders of the incredible gift you’re experiencing can be helpful in refocusing your thoughts and emotions. Planning methods ahead of time on how you want to stay calm and focused can go a long way when you’re in the thick of it.

Birthing Affirmations

Birthing affirmations are a great way to help you keep focused on your progress when you’re in active labor. It can sometimes become difficult to remember that what you’re experiencing is temporary and that very soon you will get to meet the most wonderful little person! Your labor mindset matters from start to end and you have the ability to rebalance in the midst of labor by preparing ahead. Birthing affirmations are encouraging statements, scriptures, or single words and expressions that speak to your heart. They can be flipped through, read aloud to you by a loved-one, or hung around your birthing suite as a beautiful reminder of your strength and progress. You can snag a free set of the Hallowed Mama Doula birthing affirmation cards here.

Hallowed Mama Doula birth affirmation cards - pink with white writing and greenery. helping women prepare their labor mindset.

Encouraging a Positive Labor Mindset

Some of my other favorite ways to honor your experience and center your labor mindset are…

  • reading heartfelt sentiments from family and friends (a cool baby shower idea)
  • wearing a prayer bracelet
  • lighting a blessed candle
  • offering your labor for the intentions of others (included cards in the Birthing Affirmation Cards)
  • saying a rosary
  • journaling in Baby’s keepsake book
  • meditation/visualization

However you choose to prepare yourself for labor, know that every experience is unique and not fully predictable. Your labor mindset matters and part of that is to be gentle with yourself. Resolve to show yourself grace if the plan needs to change in the moment. Ultimately, your wellbeing and baby’s is most important. Once all is said and done, you will have worked very hard bringing your baby into this life, no matter how they arrive.

You are strong! You are capable! Your experience will be your own!

A display tray full of labor visualization aids - candle, affirmation cards, prayerful pregnancy book, baby keepsake book, ultrasound and Catholic rosary.

Building Your Baby Care Caddy

Three areas I focus on preparing women for in postpartum are baby care, mom’s healing, and organization of the home. Depending on your level of nesting, you can go big with this or keep it super simple! Building your baby care caddy doesn’t have to be laborious. After four babies, “less is more” is kind of my motto. It’s not necessary to have the trendiest items in order to experience optimal postpartum healing or baby care. In fact, for me, it’s been easier when I’ve focused on just getting the essentials together.

The Baby Care Caddy

When I reference “caddy,” it’s any mid-sized, easily accessible and (preferably) mobile container. Baskets with handles, plastic cleaning totes, and foldable bins are a good place to start. Again, you don’t have to break the bank building your baby care caddy! You could line a cardboard box with contact paper or empty out a nightstand drawer to get the job done. The goal is to collect items that you can easily access in the middle of the night without leaving bed. Stash it under the bed, on a dresser, or even hang something like this on the outside of the bassinet.

There are baby care items arranged in a basket. It shows parents that diapers, baby wipes, creams, and blankets are needed.

What goes in a baby care caddy?

Any baby gear that helps make for an easy feeding and diaper change in the middle of the night. The less you have to move, the easier it will be for you and more likely it will be to keep baby in sleep mode. Some suggestions are diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream, onesie, swaddle/blanket, burp cloths, and a pacifier (if you’re using one).

Additionally, it’s not a bad idea to throw in a few things for your comfort too. Some chap stick and fresh nursing pads can really help a girl out when she’s up multiple times at night.

Other possible inclusions for your baby care caddy…

  • nasal aspirator
  • baby lotion
  • disposable changing pads
  • small trash bag (for wrapping up messy diapers or clothes)
  • small thermos (for expressed milk)
  • haakaa (to catch expressed milk during letdown)
  • hand sanitizer
  • healthy one-handed snacks (granola bar, jerky, trail mix, lactation cookies)
  • hair tie
  • nipple cream (this is my fave non-medicated cream)
  • water (doesn’t need to be added to the caddy, but rather carried with you all the time)
A box of four scented chap sticks and a jar of nipple butter from earth mama are arranged on a book. Behind them are a plant and essential oil mister. Promoting self-care for postpartum moms.

Baby on the go!

Furthermore, the baby care caddy is not only helpful at night but can be on-the-go with you. For example, our master bedroom is upstairs, but bringing the caddy down with me makes it so easy. A mobile baby changing station is much more convenient than heading back up to the nursery for every diaper change.

It’s also good for partners and your care team. They can easily find what is needed to care for baby and can help keep it stocked for you. If anyone is looking for a good baby shower gift idea, building your baby care caddy for you is a great one!

Newborn land is a sleepy place and if you find yourself without a readied diaper bag – grab the baby caddy! It might not be your first choice when leaving the house, but in a pinch, you’ll have what you need.

So. Many. Brands.

Every brand will try to convince you that their products are the best for your baby. Really, I think that most of them probably perform somewhere in the middle. Again, this is one of those areas where mom and dad choose what’s best for their sweet babe. Some will spend hours researching the most organic, ethically sourced, and environmentally friendly options. Others just want a product that will serve the purpose. Either method is okay!

Personally, I try to find the more holistic options, when I can afford them and have them easily accessible. It just makes sense to me that natural products would be a healthier choice for babies. However, there are a few products that I prefer that are less ‘crunchy’ because they just work better for us.

With all things baby, please check with your midwife, OB and/or pediatrician about their recommended baby-safe suggestions. Anything I reference or link to is just a personal reflection on past use and not a medical recommendation. Similarly, I cannot guarantee safe or successful use of any product for you and yours. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.

Bottom line… do your research and get good referrals from others, but don’t feel obligated to buy ‘all the things’ or lament over finding or affording the “perfect” products.

This shows baby care creams - mustela lotion, triple paste diaper cream, aquaphor helaing ointment and earth mama nipple butter. Suggestions for parents to care for new babies.

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Hydrating Postpartum Lemon Gingerade

This hydrating postpartum lemon gingerade is the perfect beverage for helping new mamas feel refreshed and energized! There have been variations on this drink for centuries – Switchel, Haymaker’s Punch, and Shrub to name a few. The idea is to combine the right healing properties in one delicious spritzer. Who said postpartum healing can’t be a little glamorous?

A pitcher and glass of hydrating postpartum lemon gingerade next to a recipe book and lemon

The First Forty Days

I first learned about this natural remedy from a brilliant book by Heng Ou, “The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother.” This lemon gingerade is full of some of nature’s best gifts – lemons, ginger, apple cider vinegar and honey. When you pull these ingredients together, you’re gifted a powerhouse of electrolytes, antioxidants and energy. It doesn’t hurt that it offers a refreshing gentle sweetness, mild lemon tang, punchy ginger and a little bubbly to make it fun.

An up close picture of a jar of honey surrounded by ginger and cut lemon

How to make postpartum lemon gingerade

Okay, let’s get hydrated! As I mentioned, I started with the base from Heng Ou’s recipe but decided to play with it a bit to fit my personal tastes. For me, it’s all about the ginger! It is really such a simple little drink that you can easily make adjustments to fit your palate too!

Swap honey for cane sugar, monk fruit extract, or agave.

Boil some of the lemon rind in the water (before adding honey) to really infuse the lemon and give it a deeper flavor.

If you could use some help getting your digestive system moving, macerate some prunes, blueberries or watermelon in the bottom of the pitcher.

You probably know by now that one of the postpartum doula musts is warmth! Warm food, warm clothes, warm everything. This is one of the few areas that I’ll give you a pass. If drinking this lemon gingerade cold helps you get more hydrating fluids in, then by all means, drop some ice in that glass! Another selling point for drinking it on the rocks is that it has honey in it. If you follow the recipe, you will have already warmed it a bit to dissolve it in water. You want to avoid heating it too much and killing off all of the natural health benefits. If you can go middle of the road with it and have it at room temperature, that’s probably even better!

pitcher of lemon gingerade with the recipe book glass of gingerade and a lemon

HYDRATING POSTPARTUM LEMON GINGERADE

This hydrating postpartum lemon gingerade is the perfect beverage for helping new mamas feel refreshed and energized! There have been variations on this drink for centuries – Switchel, Haymaker’s Punch, and Shrub to name a few. The idea is to combine the right healing properties in one delicious spritzer. 
Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 5 minutes
Total Time 15 minutes
Course Drinks
Servings 4

Ingredients
  

  • 1/4 cup of local raw honey
  • 1 cup hot water
  • 3 cups of club soda
  • 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
  • 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 2 teaspoons freshly grated ginger
  • 1/4 teaspoon hand harvested sea salt crushed
  • ConcenTrace Trace Mineral Drops optional, according to bottle dosage

Instructions
 

  • Over low heat, bring water to a simmer.
  • Remove from heat, add honey to the water and stir until dissolved.
  • Pour honey water into a mason jar or pitcher.
  • Add remaining ingredients and mix well.

Notes

For best flavor, drink within 3 days. Make sure to shake/stir it well each time.

Kitchen Gadgets & Favorite Ingredients

Lemon Squeezer

Ginger Grater

Sea Salt

ConcenTrace Trace Mineral Drops

Beautiful, sliced lemons laying overlapping.

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