You’re having a baby! Congratulations! I might be a bit biased, but you’re about to enter the most incredible season of life. Becoming a parent is transformative and getting to know your sweet babe will shift your perspective in so many ways. With all new seasons, there’s a learning curve that comes with everything ‘baby’. That’s where I come in as your postpartum doula!
Generally speaking, “doula,” means to serve. In a postpartum role, the doula is there to serve the mother above all else. It’s a beautiful (and necessary) concept that we’ve generally lost sight of in American culture. Across the world, since the beginning of time, women have served one another as caregivers. Hours of loved poured out preparing meals and nannying littles so women could fully heal and adjust to new life. Thus, making it an easier transition to return to the many demands of the vocations of woman.
Cultural inspiration for postpartum healing
Our Chinese sisters practice zuo yuezi, translated as, “sitting the month.” For thirty days after giving birth, mothers are encouraged to remain in a state of calm healing. In that time, loved ones prepare specific meals and tend to their families and homes for them. Usually, a close female family member moves in temporarily to fully serve the new mother and her home. In Korea, this practice is called saam-chil-il and in Latin America, la cuarentena. Many more (in fact, most) cultures embrace doula work. While the details vary, the idea is the same… mothers need time to heal their bodies and bond with their babies.
It’s an extraordinary time in the life of mother and baby. This season has many names – postnatal, postpartum, puerperium, the fourth trimester, etc. As soon as a woman gives birth, she enters this season – her healing stage. For roughly six weeks, a woman’s body and mind go through intense hormonal adjustment, physical recovery and she learns her mothering skillset. It is vital for mom and baby to have this time together to bond.
CBS News Health Watch posted an article revealing that, the U.S. is the country with the highest rate of maternal deaths of any high-income nation analyzed. Simply heartbreaking! We can do better for our women, for our families. How do we do it? We “mother the mother” by allowing her time to rest. Feed her warm nutrient-rich foods and encourage her. Help with her other children and home, etc. We support her partner and caregivers. Most importantly, we give her permission to love on herself and her baby without any other expectations! The American way is not conducive to creating a month-long season of rest. However, there are many ways we can help mothers receive this sacred respite.
Postpartum for First Timers
If you’re first-time parents, I focus my care on empowering a mother and father as they ‘learn’ their baby. For example, how to bathe baby, how to diaper, trim nails, swaddle, soothe, etc. Additionally, I focus a lot on mom’s healing – physical and emotional. If we work together before baby’s arrival, we discuss what to expect and how to prepare. We might set up a meal train, prepare your home, and make some meals to fill the freezer. Much of our time together after baby arrives, is me listening to and encouraging you along. It’s a great time to ask how to support your core, find remedies for engorged breasts, discuss lochia (bleeding), etc.
Doula Relief for the Parenthood Pros
For parenthood pros, the postpartum doula role changes a bit. My focus starts with mom, and we adjust from there. It can be hard for experienced mamas to know how to use my help. Most of them have experienced American postpartum seasons before and were back to “normal life” very early on. Typically, my focus won’t need to be with baby or mom as much. Outside of belly binding, my efforts tend to be most helpful with family and home. For example, caring for siblings, doing light cleaning around the house, picking up grocery orders and getting meals started.
Regardless of your situation…
I will walk alongside you and help you navigate the addition of this perfect little person in your life. I know the idea of having a stranger in your home, during one of the rawest moments of your life, can be hard to conceptualize. Know that the better care mom receives, the better care baby receives.
The upside to me being a stranger is that I swoop in to offer support and won’t care how dirty the house is! We can talk about baby poop (and yours!). I don’t want you to entertain me. And I will pray with you when the tears are flowing. I have no expectations of you, and I genuinely don’t want you to clean before I come over. You just don’t clean for the doula!
Joking aside, there is nothing you can say, experience, or feel that will be shocking to me. In fact, I don’t want you to hold back. Lay it on me, Mama! My sole mission is to help make those first days at home all about healing and bonding.
Postpartum Planning with Melissa
My sincere hope is that you find this to be an insightful, encouraging place that will give you direction on planning your best postpartum season. If you don’t find the answers you are looking for here, please feel free to contact me about one-on-one planning and care. Preparing ahead of time for your postpartum recovery will put you well on your way to a peaceful, sacred season of healing and bonding. If that seems overwhelming, let’s do it together!
You can browse my postpartum support options here.
WHAT ISN’T A POSTPARTUM DOULA?
A postpartum doula isn’t a medical professional and will not provide medical care. I am a support provider available to help you make the best choices for yourself and your baby. If I think mom or baby should see a medical provider, I will be gentle and honest in those moments.
A postpartum doula isn’t a maid. In my own family of six, I’ve learned how to multi-task cleaning a home with the best of them. While I want to help lighten the load around your home, my foremost priority is focusing on mom. If time permits, after mom and baby have been cared for, I will jump in elsewhere to tidy or cook! So. Many. Onesies.
A postpartum doula isn’t a know-it-all. I won’t have all the answers for your family, and I won’t pretend to. Your postpartum season is the opportunity for you to grow together as a family. I want you to feel encouraged, listened to, and have solid resources at your disposal for ideal healing. I also enjoy providing support to dads, siblings, and other caregivers!