Babies are great sleepers! …when they want to be. In the womb, babies are used to being lulled to sleep during the day with mother’s movements, talk, digestive sounds, etc. and usually become active when she settles down for the night to sleep. The first months after birth are usually no different. Babies are used to being held, rocked, shushed, and bounced to sleep and when they realize those comforts are no longer happening, they struggle to self-soothe and awaken. Time to sleep, little baby!
One of the most challenging aspects of becoming a new parent is sleep deprivation. Learning to accommodate baby’s needs and still trying to get in the much needed shut eye you require seems like a full-time job in the beginning. While it feels like a long season in the moment, it is temporary. I promise!
Baby Sleep
Even though it can feel like babies are awake all night long, newborns usually average about 8 hours of sleep during the day and 8 more hours at night. So, if they’re sleeping roughly 16 hours in a 24-hour period, why does it seem like they’re always awake?
Babies’ sleep cycles are usually about 45 minutes long. In that time, they move through light sleep, REM, deep sleep and back to light sleep. At the end of the cycle, they tend to wake up and just don’t have the skills to soothe themselves back to sleep. Couple that with tiny tummies that need feeding every few hours and you’ve got yourself a full-time job getting that little sweetheart fed and back to sleep. These irregular sleep patterns are normal for the first few months and will balance out as they develop their circadian rhythm.
How to Get Baby to Sleep
While I don’t suggest trying to create a rigid sleep schedule with a newborn, it can be helpful to try to start establishing a bedtime routine with your baby. Pick a time each night and gradually start implementing a few things to prepare you and baby for sleep.
- Give baby a bath (you can take baby into the bath with you, Mom);
- Moisturize baby and put on jammies;
- Offer baby a final evening feeding and burp well;
- Change baby’s diaper;
- Swaddle baby and turn on a white noise machine;
- Rock, bounce, comfort nurse, and/or walk baby until sleepy; and
- Once baby is asleep or very close to it, lay in bassinet/co-sleeper, etc.
Sounds good in theory, I know. It can take several weeks to get into a bedtime routine. Baby massage, reading books, singing, prayer and many other personalized things can be added to suit your family. Tweek things as you go and remember that this all takes time. You might find it’s easier to just go with the flow and not worry about bedtimes at all.
Husband Tip!
My husband’s favorite trick to get baby to sleep is to swaddle the baby well, hold upright against his chest and bounce on an exercise ball while humming loudly. Works like a charm!
Sleep Regression
There will be many periods in the infant stage where it seems the sleeping woes have long passed and then they rear their ugly heads again. Babies experience intense growth and developmental changes through the first year and it often impacts sleep. It could be that baby now needs more food to keep them satiated longer, they could be experiencing teething pain, an illness could impact sleep, or they just learn that they prefer the comfort of being soothed to help them drift back to sleep. Generally, babies develop a more balanced sleep schedule with longer overnight stretches between 4-6 months.
Returning Baby to Sleep in the Middle of the Night – Tips from Mom Friend Pros!
- Keep the lights very low when baby wakes up.
- If breastfeeding, learn to nurse laying down so you can both fall back to sleep.
- Keep them warm – no need to change diapers every feeding.
- If they’ve just finished their first sleep cycle, try to sooth (shushing, patting, rocking) without picking up to see if it will be sufficient to get them back to sleep.
To Sleep Train or To Not Sleep Train
This is a personal preference each family needs to make. Illness, postpartum depression, returning to work, subsequent pregnancies, and safety of the baby are just a few reasons parents consider a formal sleep training method. There are many methods of formal sleep training with varied degrees of difficultly and commitment. Some babies transition well through sleep training and others will make their disapproval known! These methods, while they might not all be conducive for your family, offer interesting tips on how to help older babies self soothe and anticipate sleeping on their own.
- Ferber Method
- Chair Method
- Fading Method
- Pick-Up / Put-Down Method
- Respectful Sleep Method
- Cry-It-Out Method
Outside Sleep Solutions
It’s okay to reach out for help and suggestions! You don’t have to struggle through these first months alone. There are many professionals available to help transition your baby’s sleep with you, if it seems overwhelming on your own.
Postpartum Doulas
As a postpartum doula, I am happy to work with new parents on establishing skills to best serve their family. With new parents, in particular, sometimes it just takes another set of hands to help get everyone ready for bed. Reach out to me if I can help you get your sweet babe sleeping well.
Baby Night Nurses
While night nurses don’t specifically aim to establish sleep routines for a family, they are incredibly helpful with buying parents a few hours of sleep! They stay at your house overnight and respond to a waking baby, bottle feed them, change the baby and get them back to sleep, among other things. It’s not a permanent solution but can make for a few restful nights of sleep to help moms and dads bounce back!
Sleep Consultants
Sleep consultants are nothing short of miracle workers! They assess your current situation and help craft a sleep solution plan specific to you, your spouse, and your baby’s needs. Many will work with you in person and also offer virtual appointments.
