When the time comes, your labor mindset matters. We often spend a lot of time researching pregnancy, but less time is spent on preparing our minds for labor and giving birth. Women were remarkably designed to birth their babies, and for most mamas, our bodies go right ahead and do that without us really needing to mentally participate. Ha! It’s a very compelling experience! And miraculous at that. However, if we spend a little time trying to anticipate the labor and birth, it gives us the opportunity to lean into it with mindfulness and that can completely change our labor experience! When the moment comes, it can help you head into labor with intentionality, fully trusting your body.
Do you need a birth plan?
Birth plans have become a widely discussed part of the labor process in the relatively recent past. While I don’t think it’s necessary to have an elaborate birth plan in place, it is a good idea to think through general birth issues specific to the environment you plan to birth in – home, birth center, hospital, or otherwise.
Logistically, there is the space itself, requirements of medical staff, understanding what your insurance includes, visiting hours and the equipment available for you to use. Most birth centers and hospitals offer tours and one-on-one discussions with providers to help answer these questions ahead of time.
Medically, there are considerations to ponder, as well. Jotting down a general idea of your ideal labor and birthing experience is encouraged. I would suggest avoiding too many details as the idea of a birth plan is to make things simplistic and straight forward for you (and your care team) as a reminder of your intentions.
Birth Plan Thoughts
The idea of a birth plan is to return you to the right labor mindset by giving you a reminder of your intentions for birth. Simple is better so it does not become overwhelming during labor. A few basic suggestions to consider and jot down…
- Pain management (do you want to have an epidural and/or how do you plan to manage discomfort)
- Movement (do you want to be able to be out of bed)
- Who will be with you (partner, doula, mother, friend)
- Baby care (if in a hospital – do you want vaccinations / circumcision / hearing testing, etc.) Baby procedures might start immediately after birth if you are delivering in a hospital – it is okay (and encouraged) to request that they delay those so you can experience the “golden hour” with your baby.
- Placenta decisions (if you want to keep it you have to say so)
Everything else is extra, in my opinion. What you wear, if you listen to music, using your own pillows, the lighting, the temperature, ice chips vs. apple juice, etc. I’m speaking for the masses here, but those things likely won’t matter much when you’re in active labor. If they do, your care team and medical staff will tend to minor things as they arise.
If this is your first pregnancy, labor will be eye-opening. It is a natural, primal rite of passage while becoming a mother. When you’re on the other side of it you will have a different perspective of the remarkable woman you are, and your beautiful babe is THE best reward ever!
Memorable Moments of Labor
I want to get a little real with you for a minute. My intention is not to scare or embarrass you, but rather to help take some of the potential shock out of the reality of labor for you. Every labor and delivery are different, but they usually all have their “memorable” moments. Whether you have a vaginal or cesarean delivery, you might…
- have your water break on its own or medical staff might do it for you in one big gush – it’s always an odd surprise
- experience intense contractions (tightening of the stomach) that make you want to cry, moan, breathe heavily, or be silent.
- pee or poop…on the bed, on the floor, on your doctor
- feel nauseous or throw up
- fall asleep in between contractions
- experience “transition tremors” (involuntary shaking)
- have an orgasm
- leak colostrum from your breasts
- feel angry, sad, scared, happy, relieved, or overwhelmed
- need a little extra oxygen to help you breathe easier
- make amazing sounds that you’ve never heard yourself make before
If you experience any or all of these, it’s okay! All of this is natural and helping your body to open and soften for baby’s arrival. You never need to apologize. You don’t need to feel badly. I promise, your medical staff has seen it all and are prepared to help you work through these situations if they happen.
There are serene moments of labor, as well. That downtime is a great opportunity to rebalance your mind if you’re feeling anxious, frustrated or tired. Having visual reminders of the incredible gift you’re experiencing can be helpful in refocusing your thoughts and emotions. Planning methods ahead of time on how you want to stay calm and focused can go a long way when you’re in the thick of it.
Birthing Affirmations
Birthing affirmations are a great way to help you keep focused on your progress when you’re in active labor. It can sometimes become difficult to remember that what you’re experiencing is temporary and that very soon you will get to meet the most wonderful little person! Your labor mindset matters from start to end and you have the ability to rebalance in the midst of labor by preparing ahead. Birthing affirmations are encouraging statements, scriptures, or single words and expressions that speak to your heart. They can be flipped through, read aloud to you by a loved-one, or hung around your birthing suite as a beautiful reminder of your strength and progress. You can snag a free set of the Hallowed Mama Doula birthing affirmation cards here.
Encouraging a Positive Labor Mindset
Some of my other favorite ways to honor your experience and center your labor mindset are…
- reading heartfelt sentiments from family and friends (a cool baby shower idea)
- wearing a prayer bracelet
- lighting a blessed candle
- offering your labor for the intentions of others (included cards in the Birthing Affirmation Cards)
- saying a rosary
- journaling in Baby’s keepsake book
- meditation/visualization
However you choose to prepare yourself for labor, know that every experience is unique and not fully predictable. Your labor mindset matters and part of that is to be gentle with yourself. Resolve to show yourself grace if the plan needs to change in the moment. Ultimately, your wellbeing and baby’s is most important. Once all is said and done, you will have worked very hard bringing your baby into this life, no matter how they arrive.
You are strong! You are capable! Your experience will be your own!